An Open Letter From The One You Let Get Away!

I never saw you coming! A simple "Hello" that lead to countless adventures, laughter, and love.

We both had cuts and scars from shattered pieces of our past but all Hero's do; with God, time, and each other came healing. We embraced our yesterdays while letting God control our tomorrow.

I'm not sure anyone is ever "completely" ready but over time you have unknowingly started a spark in me that turned into a fire. You have made me feel alive again. You have made me feel more excited than afraid. The day has come that I'm ready to take a risk at love. It has become clear that you are not.

I know there will be moments and maybe even days that it will hurt to have walked away from the fantasy of how things could have been, but it will never compare to the heartache of staying stuck in a dream. Today my eyes have been washed by the tears and I have a clearer view again. Moving forward doesn't make me bitter or cynical about love. Instead, it makes me grateful and hopeful realizing that if I gave so much in the wrong relationship how beautiful it will be when the right one comes around.

One day when you look back I hope you see me; the girl who wasn't perfect but tried to be for you. The girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you looking past the flaws you focused on and embracing the strengths you couldn't see. The girl that fought to stay even when you didn't fight to keep her.

I am forever thankful for your part in my journey! F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best "There are all types of love in this world but never the same love twice".

A meeting of emotions — heart first!

May this Valentines Day hold all things "Heart" friendly and only "Him"!

The day dedicated to Love is fast approaching and requires a team from your head down to your toes, your board of directors so to speak! Your heart will be the CEO, the ultimate decision maker but a team that has your heart's best interest at hand is a must! On your board of directors invite you mind, eyes, ears, mouth, hands, and feet!

Bottom up! Not tequila but your board! Your feet, do they run to the phone to see if it's "Him" calling, texting, face timing? Do they hurry to answer the door on date night? Do they save that special dance step just for "Him"? Do they send a message through every part of your body when he asks to help you take off your boots or the heels you've been wearing all night? When he lifts you off your feet does it take you to a higher place? If yes? Move to the next board member.

Your hands hold a special spot on the board. As he reaches for your hand is it warm, familiar yet exciting and adventurous? Does it tell you and everyone else that you're "His"? When your fingers trace his mouth does it feel like a priceless conversation? If Yes, move on.

The size of the smile you wear says everything without a spoken word! Bringing us to your mouth. When "His" lips touch yours is it "His" name you taste? Do you feel a welcomed weakening in your knees? Does "His" kiss say "Hello Beautiful" in the quietness of the moment?

When your eyes look at "Him" do they find "He" was already staring at you? Do you see "His" eyes catching the beauty of your broken yesterdays; not seeing the weight on your shoulders but instead the wings on you back? When even your darkest days are blinded by "His" light. Yes? Next.

Your ears! One of the important senses! A valuable board member! Your name never sounded as sweet as when spoken by "Him". It's not just what "He" says but in the way "He" says them, like whiskey that is smooth with a slow welcome burn that becomes a warm spark inside.

Does "He" crawl inside your mind and has it running wild? Are your legs tired from chasing "Him" through your mind all day? Does it replay the best, better and hopes of yet to come over and over? When you are both tired but want more time are your dreams a meeting place? Then decision made!

So why do I need a board of directors together with my heart you ask? When my heart knew all along? With all the fish in the sea swimming toward you know some may be sharks, so make it unquestionable that you swim only to "Him" because "You" have too much to offer to be half loved or once bitten twice shy!

Do Your Relationships Measure Up?

We would all like to believe that like the song says "All you need is Love," but look around; clearly this is not the case with countless relationships lost or broken beyond repair. Divorces, broken engagements, business partnership fall outs, even life long friends no longer speaking. Lost and broken relationships are a part of each of our lives, and if we are honest many still involve a level of love. Then what happened? Besides the obvious that you were right and they were wrong? This is what we tell ourselves to put the hurt and heartache in the past and move forward. The truth is love is simply not enough.

A dear friend once told me that you need four things to have and continue a fulfilling relationship which has had a large impact in my life and my relationships. I have added a fifth and hope you too will find these five characteristics in those you hold dear. We have expectations of so many areas of our lives, why not relationships.

1. Like

It's where it all starts. Remember back to grade school. The notes passed back and forth. "Do you like me? circle Yes or No". What we like about that person can be so many things. They could be funny, smart, crazy, have a great laugh, fun to be around, supportive, and/or caring. They make us happy. Please keep in mind unlike some of the other characteristics this one you can and will fall in and out of. You never like everything. If they are in your life long enough they will do somethings that drive you crazy and at moments you may not like them much at all. This is very normal.

2. Love

Although we have established this alone is not enough it is still needed. Love by definition is an intense feeling of positive emotion toward, or enjoyment of, a person. This can include strong romantic feelings as well. That feeling like no other. When you say "I do"! When your baby is put in your arms for the first time! It's that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of feeling. This characteristic can and will take on different levels. An example of this is when someone says "I don't love you anymore" this is usually a case of I don't like something you have done or said so my love for you is bruised or that it was more a relationship of lust and not love all along. In the right relationships love at some level will always be there.

3. Trust

It's not a given but gained. It grows with each day and becomes stronger over the years through actions, openness and honesty. Trust is fragile and the most important to stay true to. It can be shattered within moments following lies, dishonesty, & deceit. Lies are not always direct and can come in the form of dishonesty by omission. Broken trust can change you; making you less open to trust again. Without trust your relationship has little value and can take a lifetime to repair.

4. Respect

It's earned and not demanded. Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love and is also fragile. Always holding up the highest qualities of those we hold dear. Many times losing trust also results in a loss of respect.

5. Communication

Give it a voice, not just text and social media updates. Your hopes, dreams, goals, hurts, sorrow and success all deserve to be verbally shared with the ones you like, love, trust and respect. Expecting someone to know what you are thinking has disaster written all over it. Then listen with undivided attention to the ones you like, love, trust and respect. Listen to understand those you cherish.

Relationships are a gift from God and should be treated as such. Although love alone is not enough, it is a start.

Life keeps unfolding; it won't wait around for you.

Life Experiences--they change us and shape us but they do not define us.

It's easy to share the "wins" in life, but many times if we are honest, we learn more with the "losses." Mine include divorces; that's right, plural. This is a heavy hearted statement that I am far from proud of. I believe in marriage and admire those who have the strength to stay through insurmountable adversities even though I didn't. I have however used these life experiences to grow and feel compelled to share three keys to life after divorce.

1. Forgiveness

Forgive your ex and yourself. Make time for the quiet time even if you don't feel you need it. Take this time to pause, read, pray, reflect and more importantly "listen" for God's direction. Saying "I'm sorry, forgive me" to another person and yourself is healing and takes strength; do not see this as a sign of weakness. God forgives us and gives us undeserving grace. Esphensians 4:32 says, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Pray for the strength to take this step of healing. I have learned that prayer may not change your circumstances, but prayer will change and prepare you for the road ahead.

2. Fall in love

With yourself. Self love is the best medicine. Learning to love yourself will set the tone for all future relationships. God made each of us unique; giving us talents and gifts, so know you have value. You are not where you've come from but what you choose to become.

3. Move forward

One day, one week, one month at a time. Focus on your choices today and know that God will meet you in your tomorrows when you get there. Life moves forward with choices, one after another, all shapes and sizes. Life keeps unfolding. It won't wait around for you. Don't wake up one day and realize you've been going the wrong direction or even standing still. As the saying goes, "Don't look back, you're not headed that way." So move forward, let go and let God share his purpose for your life. "Nothing can stop God's plan for our life" Isaiah 14:27.

Remember that although we can not change our yesterdays, we can change our tomorrows. I hope these three keys will aid in your ability to turn the page and start writing the next chapter. As you follow God's will for the next chapters in your life, pray for your mind, heart and eyes to be wide open so He may guide you, interrupt you, rearrange you and redirect you as needed.